Marriage is great, truly, it is, and since a lot of my friends are getting married now too, I thought I’d share a few things from our first year of marriage.
Wedding planning is harder than marriage
Okay, okay, I’m sure I just offended someone. In my defense, a friend said that to us first so I didn’t come up with it myself. I know that isn’t true for everyone, but it has been true for us. We got engaged and married within 11 months, and I don’t know how people stay engaged for years.
Don’t take advice too seriously
When you’re dating, engaged, a newlywed, etc. people love telling you what to do. I mean, I get it, they feel that they have a wealth of knowledge they want to share to help you not make the same mistakes they did. But here’s the deal…your relationship is not theirs. People can tell you all they want, but here’s my advice: take everything with a grain of salt and brush off the stuff that doesn’t apply to you! Never feel like you have to do something just because someone “older and wiser” told you to. Stay true to who you are as a couple and roll with it!
Premarital counseling is one of “the things” to do before the wedding, especially within the Christian community. We made it through one session. After we left, we both just started laughing at the whole experience (probs because of the counselor) and knew it wasn’t something we wanted to continue. There’s nothing wrong with counseling, but we realized that we were doing it to please others, not because we wanted to. But hey, at least we tried!
Keep it equal
Think of marriage like a triangle. God is at the top and the husband and wife are the two bottom corners, meaning they are equal to each other. David and I share equal authority in our decisions and equal responsibility in our marriage. Maybe this works for us because of our personality types. We lead each other and there’s a balance. If we have clashing opinions, we come to a conclusion TOGETHER so neither of us feel like we are going against our will.
Embrace the quirks and do what works
The other day I mentioned I had to do my laundry. The person asked, “Your laundry?” As non-married as this sounds, our closets are in different rooms and we don’t combine laundry. Why? Because I believe in separating colors and David doesn’t. So when I do laundry, I literally do what belongs to me and he does what belongs to him. I didn’t even realize it was abnormal until someone pointed it out. But again, you do what works for both of you.
You don’t have to gain weight cuz you’re married
This one made me laugh. Someone seriously told us to prepare to gain weight after the wedding…as if marriage is the cause of weight gain, not food and being a lazy butt. Happy to report we both weigh less now than we did on our wedding day!
Look at your bank account weekly
This could definitely lead to a whole different blog post, but I’ll keep it short. Both of you should always be aware of your bank account. Money is in the top 2 leading causes of divorce and if you aren’t both invested in keeping your bank accounts in shape, life is going to suck.
Side-note: David knows that I am very money-conscious and am pretty good at talking myself out of things I don’t really need. So if I tell him I want something, he knows I already went through the process of weighing the pros and cons and he trusts me….except for that one time I insisted I needed a pretty $200 water fountain on our balcony, LOL. He was right about that one.
